Dispatch from an advertising future #6

Football’s tactical switch

We’re through to the last selection. I’ve dreamed he’d be signed since before he was born and he’s almost there. Once we saw he wasn’t great with the ball, we put the effort into building up his other sports skills. We made him practice. Hour after hour with his phone. We’re not ashamed to admit, we paid for expert coaching. And now… he can TikTok the way Cruyff could turn. He can Tweet like Beckham could bend it. He can Instagram like Ronaldo could chop. The lad’s a natural. No team would be complete without him. My boy, a pro.


We’re through to the last selection. I don’t know who is more excited, us or him. I admit I dreamed he’d be signed by United even before he was born and he’s almost there. One more round.

Of course he’s not the only one in the running. I’ve heard that there at least two sponsored kids who are frankly guaranteed a place. Well if you’ve been ‘branded since birth’ of course they’ll get a place. The manager hasn’t a choice. But the influencer player places are still open and we’ve put a lot of effort into that over the years. As soon as we knew he was just OK with the ball, we put the effort into building up his other sports skills. We made him practice. Hour after hour with his phone. We’re not ashamed to admit that we paid for expert coaching. Those Sunday mornings we spent out setting up shots for him. Rain or shine. We put the hours in and so did he, getting ready for this big chance.

And now… He can. TikTok the way Cruyff could turn. He can Tweet like Beckham. could bend it. He can Instagram like Ronaldo could chop. The. lad’s a natural. No team would be complete without him.