Dispatch from an advertising future #88

https://voicebot.ai/2020/08/24/facebook-shares-software-to-teach-robots-how-to-navigate-by-sound/

He wasn’t lazy. After a hard day at the kitchen table, he deserved some downtime, and besides The Owl (™) made the house safer. Noises from the baby’s room? Silently pop in and check. Delivery at the door? Hover over, unlock and take the parcel – socially distanced delivery. The homedrone was a silent presence. As The Owl (™) swept calmly over to the suddenly quiet teenager’s room his eye was caught by the discount code on his Feed: “Time for the talk? Our experts are here. 50% off for the next 90 seconds”. He clicked. His wife would like that.

Dispatch from an advertising future #87

https://www.warc.com/newsandopinion/news/new-brand-opportunities-in-the-domestic-space/44011

They’d always been into home improvement, houseproud. Now they were hubproud. When the firm joined Office 2.0, they took their grants to remake the space: hubwork spaces for them; hubschool space for Charlie and hubhome spaces for what was left of the day. And as the partnership deals were offered, they signed up. They didn’t like to think they were competitive, but their hubkitchen deal, with its watercooler and coffeebar had got the Likes. And Charlie’s status had gone up sharply when the schoolcam showed the desk logo. He looked again at the bathroom and imagined the perfect partner.

Dispatch from an advertising future #86

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/aug/20/the-rolling-stones-to-open-flagship-uk-shop-in-september

https://www.warc.com/newsandopinion/news/uk-subcultures-are-alive-and-well/43997

The smartdrives were lined up in what had once been a motorway service station. Others joined the end as the lead set off through the night. A convoy on the edge of legality. There wasn’t the usual transit messaging: the old CB radio jokes, the chat. They always switched off the intercar networks. Partly security, partly just a tradition. The ride was eerily silent, winding through the night. The lead flashed its logo twice as it loomed into view. Blank. Massive. Deserted. Secret. Ready. The cars pulled in. The mall was quiet, dark… apart from one store. It was on.

Dispatch from an advertising future #85

https://www.adweek.com/brand-marketing/bud-light-seltzer-search-first-chief-meme-officer/

It’s perfect for me. I know the brand: the Claws battle; the Post Malone votes; the Social Club heritage. I can give you metrics on “Your taste buds notice…” It’s all to hand. I’m a mine of information. But not just Bud knowledge. I collect memes: the classics “All Your Base Are Belong to Us”, “Dancing Baby”, that new Trump one… you’ve not seen it? I’m always watching. And I make them, fast. Feed me a story, go on! This job is made for me. I can pass for 21, create an avatar for the interview. I’ll call myself Turing.

Dispatch from an advertising future #84

https://www.warc.com/newsandopinion/news/mars-secret-for-success-in-digital-focus-on-peak-attention/43987

“You can do this!” he shouted at himself. Just a bit more. Go for the burn. Push through. He could get the Strata KOA (™)  for this segment this time. He knew he could. Just one more effort. The sweat dripped, his eyes blurred. He had to do it. If he could reclaim the KOA, he could start getting paid again. He may even get new deals. Focus. It was all about focus. The screen changed one last time as he threw everything, one last time. It finished and the logo appeared: Strata King of Attention. He had it back.

Dispatch from an advertising future #83

https://voicebot.ai/2020/08/17/apple-patents-context-sensitive-hearable-technology/

The music dimmed as she waited for the selfdrives to pass, electric silence retuned as bicycle bells – her chosen option. She pushed the buggy past the store. SmartShuffle (™) reordered tracks that were also in her workout playlist up the queue. She glanced at the latest athletech clothing but she was late. But not too late for a coffee. The sound of the grinder in her ears told her the coupon was already on her watch. As she turned into the coffeeshop, his eyes opened as the buggy’s speakers responded. The vegan health muffin offer sounded in both their ears.