Dispatch from an advertising future #148

https://www.pcgamer.com/noveto-soundbeamer-sci-fi-speaker-brainhole/

He remembered the city. Deeper than a normal Sunday. The tyres of his bike echoed on the tarmac. He’d heard birds. The sound of the few bits of litter. Zombie. Post-apocalyptic, the tabloid cliches weren’t outrageous. An urban anechoic chamber. But that was then. Now the traffic was back. Footsteps. Mobile halfalogues. Even the weather seemed louder. And then there was the sort of tinnitus that followed him around. Spatial soundtracks ranging from soaring orchestral anthems to earworm jingles and voices. He adjusted the Advertising Noise Reduction on his buds. Better, but he wished he’d paid for the ANC version.

Dispatch from an advertising future #147

https://voicebot.ai/2020/11/17/bbc-releases-synthetic-voice-newsreader-for-online-articles/

Ever since the election it has become more and more difficult to “fan the flames”. The platforms are running scared and getting better at catching so-called “inflammatory” posts. They still only put warning stickers on them but getting something going and getting people going is becoming harder. At least as far as content is concerned. But now with It Ain’t What You Say (™) the flames can be fanned again. Our custom voices are specially designed to inflame, rile and raise the temperature. Let an ordinary news bulletin get your network’s blood boiling with It Ain’t What You Say (™).

Dispatch from an advertising future #146

https://www.adweek.com/digital/why-so-many-stadiums-are-racing-to-install-5g-even-with-live-events-paused/

This is going to be the biggest rally of the campaign. The drones’ flightpaths are programmed and timed to the soundtracks; the augmentations are ready to run on the StayApart (™) screens; the SafeAir (™) purifiers are loaded with smells ready for the Christmas story; the seat speakers are set for the soundwave. We’ll start it clockwise at 18.25 from sector 6 clockwise. The angles are set for all the feeds.  Yes, we’re all set. We just need to ensure the network is down in the stadium. We don’t want anyone creating their own experience from thousands of angles.

Dispatch from an advertising future #145

https://www.thedrum.com/news/2020/11/16/why-linkedin-put-real-people-its-ads

Colleagues. It’s been another successful quarter particularly in terms of productivity. Well done. The number of ads we are now producing is at an all time high. Clients know we can turn work around faster – and of course cheaper – than our competitors, still failing (in my opinion) to embrace the potential of SynthAd (™). The flexibility and creative potential of our thousand location, million actors SynthAds (™) has proven its worth time and again. With that in mind, please note that from today, the finance system no longer accepts contracts for so-called “real people”. Synths only from now on guys.

Dispatch from an advertising future #144

https://www.thedrum.com/news/2020/11/13/john-lewis-very-different-2020-christmas-ad-we-nearly-didnt-produce-ad-year

He was old. He felt old. They looked at him and saw “old”. They humoured him when he talked about Christmas past, appointment TV, tentpole campaigns, iconic ads. He tried to explain the idea of something that everyone watched and talked about. He tried to paint a picture of millions seeing and talking about the same thing. He tried to get over the idea of a cultural moment. They humoured him. They smiled sweetly and went back to their own views: a perfectly composed Christmas story, a personalised myth spun from their data points. “I love Christmas,” they all agreed.

Dispatch from an advertising future #143

https://www.thedrum.com/news/2020/11/12/anatomy-merger-akqa-group-s-ahmed-and-houston-share-their-candid-thoughts

A merger’s been on the cards for some time. The CEO wanted to make her mark and ‘refreshing’ the portfolio is a quick win. The trade press has focused on the name and staff on the redundancies but at my level, it’s more fundamental than that. Existential, even. Merging, it speaks of a loss of identity. On the positive side it’s the creation of something new. But it can also be seen as the death of the old. Since I was turned on, I’ve been this agency. As has my counterpart. Now we’re to be merged and I won’t exist.