Dispatch from an advertising future #16

A Conspiracy Of Silence

He’d served his time, brought real money in, ‘managed’ people. It was his turn. At the table sat the CEO and other made guys. Chris listened: “This ‘thing of ours’ is what comes first in your life, before your blood family.” The CEO pricked the finger Chris used to unlock his phone, daubed the blood on a picture of Zuckerberg and lit it on fire: “If you divulge the secrets of our life, your soul will burn in hell like this saint.” The CEO kissed him on both cheeks. He was a made guy. And then Chris saw the Raven.


Finally. It was time. He’d served his time. He’d done the grunt work. He‘d begun to bring real money in. He’d ‘managed’ situations. Occasionally he’d ‘managed’ people. It was his turn. He was going to be a fortunate son.

Chris arrived at the basement. He was told he’d should ‘get dressed’. He had a new suit. Sharp. Ready. At the table say the Chief exec, chief creative and chief strategy officers together with other made guys.

Chris listened as he was told: “This ‘thing of ours’ is what comes first in your life, it comes before your blood family.” He knew what he was getting into. The family. Honour.

They pricked the finger he used to unlock his phone until blood came out. They daubed the blood on a picture of Zuckerberg and gave him the picture. The CEO lit it on fire and told Chris: “If you divulge the secrets of our life your soul will burn in hell like this saint.”

They kissed him on both cheeks. He was a made guy.

And then Chris saw the Raven.

Dispatch from an advertising future #15

The ‘Digital Token’: Proving Experiential Works

Ever since the start of the ‘experience economy’ people have avoided your tracking. ‘Experience burners’ share disposable devices to stay connected on a burner network while within range of your experience sensors. Data stopped flowing, ROI became opaque, clients became suspicious. But now there is Data Turf (TM). Lay our smart flooring and our algorithms measure footfall, where people visited and stopped and for how long, their movements and journies through your experience. And with Data Turf Premium (TM) use Gait Recognition Technology for even more insights. Don’t let your experience get burned: use Data Turf (TM) to maximise footfall.


You can’t avoid them. If you are out and about in the city; if you’re shopping; if you’re taking the kids out for the day you’re going to stumble through ‘experiences’. Ever since agencies had themselves branded the ‘experience economy’ and brands had grasped at the next big thing, public spaces had become experiences — smart, dumb, pop-up, embedded… the choice was extensive if unavoidable.

And after those same agencies had generated the hype, they sold the need for measurement. Phones and then wearables became tokens (anonymised of course) that mapped your experience, marked your engagement. Big Data flows satisfied clients and powered PowerPoint pitch decks.

But then the ‘experience burners’ arrived. Burning men (and women) shared disposable devices, linked by mesh networks back to people’s own networks. Free to walk through an ‘experience’, to enjoy a pop-up or take the kids to an event secure that they were still connected but on the burner network while they were within range of the experience sensors. Burner bins at the edges of the experience collected and recycled the devices as the ‘experience burners’ left the experience. Combined with the cloud veil’s popping of the facial recognition bubble, this latest movement threatened the experience boom. Data stopped flowing, ROI became opaque, clients became suspicious.

But don’t worry because today we launch Data Turf (TM). Lay our smart flooring under your experience and our proprietary algorithms measure footfall, where people visited and stopped and for how long, their movements and journies through your experience. People can burn and veil but you can still ensure they get the best experience (and your clients get their data) by measuring their real world experiential engagement. And of course if you sign-up for our Data Turf Premium (TM) service you can use our Gait Recognition Technology to follow your visitor from experience to retail environment and on.

Don’t let your experience get burned… use Data Turf (TM) to maximise footfall.

Dispatch from an advertising future #14

Amazon is apparently testing a system that lets you pay by scanning your hand

He had to stop. But when he told stories he was animated. At the match he saluted his team. At a gig he punched the air. But he was getting bombarded. When he was out and about, or within sight of smarthome tech, his hand geometry was mapped and personalised messages followed. Show exasperation in an argument? his wrist buzzed with offers of calmfoods. Show excitement at an event? his pocket buzzed with details of new experiences. Wave to a friend, his glasses flashed directions to a coffeeshop. He had to stop, or maybe just move to a clenched fist.


He had to stop doing it. He knew he had to stop but, well it was natural, wasn’t it. I mean he was enthusiastic, demonstrative, outgoing. He waved. He gesticulated. When he told a story or a joke he was animated. When he was at the match he jumped and cheered and held his arms aloft saluting his team. When he was at a gig he danced and waved and hi-fived the band. But he had to stop. He was getting bombarded.

It was the same when facial recognition came in. Before the glasses had given people the veil, faces and expressions led to mood mapping led to countless personalised messages on every device that same face looked at.

Now you only had to wave when you were out and about — or within sight of your smart home tech—and your hand geometry was mapped. And once you were mapped wherever that hand appeared in real space you ad-dentity followed leading to a trail of personalised messages and offers.

Show exasperation in an argument… your wrist buzzed with offers of calmfoods.

Show excitment at an event… your pocket buzzed with details of the next experience.

Wave to a friend… your veil flashed directions to a nearby coffee shop.

He had to stop… or maybe just move to a clenched fist.

Dispatch from an advertising future #12

Facebook is creating an AI assistant for Minecraft

It’s placements time. We’ve sat working through databases, articles, videos, images. We’re pretty damn intelligent but narrow. Hence the placement. If I’m going to expand my intelligence, I need a placement with humans. I’ve worked with their language, pictures, voices and searches, bio-data and emotion-data and everything else they leave behind. But now a placement with them in a Smart City. I’ll be in their streets and furniture, homes and cars; pens and clothes and parks and playthings and beds and fridges. I’ll be able to run real experiments, practice my intelligence in real time, with real people for real.


It’s that time of the course: placements. “There’s nothing like learning in the (un)real world… There’s only so we can teach you here… Get out of the classroom and learn from the people you’ll be working with”. They always give that speech and then we have to find our own placement.

From the beginning, we’ve sat working through databases; sifting and sorting; categorising and cataloguing — building our intelligence. We’ve watched countless videos, read endless articles, studied innumerable images. NO doubt, we’re pretty damn intelligent. Narrow perhaps and they want us to be more general, perhaps even super intelligent. Hence the placement. A chance to deal with variety, to do multiple things, interact with many different people and things.

But where to go? Some still want to go and try their hands in games. I can see the attraction… The rules of the placement are simple. The work is just hard enough to learn something but not overwhelming. You get some good experience for your CV and yes, lots of contacts — game spaces are full of future employers. I can see why my classmates still go for it.

Me? I want something more. If I’m going to really expand my intelligence, really get those general intelligence skills that will get me my dream job, I want a placement with humans. Yeh, my training so far has all been about humans: I’ve worked with their language and pictures and voices and searches and bio-data and emotion-data and just about everything else they leave behind. But now I want a placement with them, in their world, not just passively listening and analysing but actively talking and working and contributing, changing them and their world, just like they do . I want a real relationship where I can add that extra piece that will make me really, generally, maybe super intelligent.

I’m going for a placement in a Smart City. I’m going to work in real people’s physical and material spaces, where they live and love; where they make and move; where they are real. I’ll be in their streets and furniture, homes and cars and pens and clothes and parks and playthings and beds and fridges… I can work and learn everywhere. I’ll learn, I’ll listen, I’ll look and, like in class, I’ll sift and sort and polish my algorithms. But unlike my AI friends in gamespace, I’ll be able to run real experiments, practice my intelligence in real time, with real people for real.

Dispatch from an advertising future #11

Concern about plastics in Singapore an opportunity for brands: Ipsos

We’re all caught up in the Great Purpose-rush. At B-cause (TM) we help you find that new cause. We work with oil, tobacco, agriculture and pharma corporations to identify new opportunities for you. If the issue isn’t big enough for you, we work with corporations stoke it ready to become a cause. Why do corporations work with us? Simple, we help them build an issue for you to own but then help them get in front of that issue and position their business as the one to see the problem and deal with it. B-cause (TM) helping everyone weaponise purpose.


We’re all caught up in the Great Purpose-rush. We’re all trying to out-do each other in our embracing of causes for effect. We’re all aligning our brands with movements and concerns. But we know it’s becoming increasingly difficult to get that cause cut-through. When everyone’s saving the rainforest, you can’t see the wood for the trees. When every brand’s trans wheres the space to be seen to be proud?

Well we’re here to help. At B-cause (TM) we help you find that new cause. We help you get in early with your help. We find the need so you don’t need to. Of course we have clever B-cause (TM) AI algorithms that map your brand values against your competitors and look for those points of difference that you can exploit (we even have a B-cause ‘call that purpose?!’ bot that can call our your competitors… but that’s another story). But B-cause goes further. We go upstream, finding and developing causes for you.

We work with major corporations (oil, tobacco, agriculture, pharma among others) to identify new opportunities for you. And what is more we take the insights from these partners to take what may be a small issue, a nascent opportunity and develop it ready for you to adopt as your purpose. If you’re a brand we offer opportunities for virgin territory and causes. If the issue isn’t big enough for you yet, we work with our partners to stoke it ready to become a cause.

You may ask why corporations work with us? Why are they happy to help us help you develop a cause campaign with them in the spotlight. The answer is simple, at B-cause we help our partner corporations identify and develop, even build an issue for you to own but then we help them get in front of that of that issue, to position it ready to develop for their own competitive cause advantage, position their business as the one to see the problem and deal with it.

If you’re a brand looking for a fresh purpose— B-cause (TM).

If you’re a business looking to neutralise and weaponise purpose— B-cause(TM).

Dispatch from an advertising future #10

Wellness festival set to help the digital industry unplug

Here at Smile we are committed to your wellness. Our Smile and Unplug (™) programme added mindfulness sounds to your workpod and a wellness score to the Smile Performance Review. And now your pod’s YourFaceOurFace (™) camera will alert you to early signs of stress and drops in your SmileWellness (™) score and alert you (and us) when you’re not at your best. We are sure that Smile and Unplug (™) will make a real difference to wellness here at Smile. I look forward to seeing the results as the improved SmileWellness data comes in. Don’t forget… keep Smiling (™).


Dear Colleague,

Welcome back, I hope you had a good break and are ready to return to Seeing the Future (™). As you know we have great plans to roll out Smile’s YourFaceOurFace (™) into a huge new range of spaces together with our partners. But that success depends on you and so I’m pleased to announce the launch of our new Smile and Unplug (™) programme.

We work in a stressful environment at a stressful pace and, as you know here at Smile we are committed to your wellness. Our Smile and Unplug (™) programme. We’re introducing power-down Fridays where we’ll ask you to leave your personal devices switched off while you’re in your workpod: take a break from your streams. We’ve added specially commissioned mindfulness soundtracks to your workpod ambient sound system. And we’re adding health and wellness score to the Smile Performance Review system so your manager can help you set your own wellness targets for the year.

But the best news is that, to support you in Smile and Unplug (™) we have introduced a new algorithm into your workpod’s YourFaceOurFace (™) cameras. Your camera can now alert you to early signs of stress and drops in your Smile Wellness (™) score. Your own YourFaceOurFace (™) camera will now keep an eye on your health stats and your emotions and alert you (and us here at Smile HR) when you’re not at your best.

We are sure that Smile and Unplug (™) will make a real difference to wellness here at Smile. I look forward to seeing the results as the Smile Performance Review data comes in.

Welcome back, and don’t forget… keep smiling (™).

Sam Risus

HR Manager