Dispatch from an advertising future #9

T-Mobile is handing out hot spots to lure customers

Call me old-fashioned, but I think our kids should be protected inside school and out. We wouldn’t accept drug dealers hanging around the school gates offering amphetamines, why should we accept people pushing Speed(™)? “Go on, take it. All the other kids are doing it. You want to be the only one still on 5G?” Speed(™) is addictive. When you’ve sampled it… you’re hooked. We’ve seen SpeedFreaks: oblivious, eyes glazed, REM. We’ve seen withdrawal, the violent response to life in “the slow lane”. Is that what we want for our kids? Join me outside the school gates today.

Dear fellow parent,

It doesn’t seem so long ago that we were fighting the No Logo battles to get brands out of the classroom and the corridors. We won some of those battles and at least there was a debate about branded spaces inside schools. Then there were the battles over advertising outside schools, on kids’ online spaces… the battles have gone on and on.

Call me old-fashioned. Call me a fuddy-duddy or a Luddite. Call me out-of-touch, but I still think school is for learning and our kids should be protected inside the school and out. We wouldn’t accept drug dealers hanging around the school gates offering amphetamines, why should we accept people pushing Speed(™)?

They’re there with their free offers. Their little black box. “Go on. Take it. You know you want to. All the other kids are doing it. You want to be the only one still on 5G? Swipe your ID here to activate.”

But of course they’re not free, they’re a trial. Speed(™) is addictive. They know that when you’ve sampled it… you’re hooked. We’ve seen SpeedFreaks on the streets: oblivious, eyes simultaneously glazed and wide, awake REM. And we’ve seen them in withdrawal. We’ve seen the anger and frustration, the visceral response, the violent reaction to life in what they see as the slow lane. Is that what we want for our kids?

Join me outside the school gates today and every day.

Dispatch from an advertising future #8

Digiday Research: What marketers are moving in-house in 5 charts

You want control and creativity. You want the benefits of in-house but also the best outside thinking. Now you don’t have to make a choice. With In’nOut (™) you can have the best of both worlds. In-house AIs build on-brand campaigns to order. Control? Certainly, but creative? With In’nOut (™) you have control. Dial up In’nOut (™) to let your AI think outside the building, create the wacky campaign, build the crazy idea. Or dial it down to bring your In’nOut (™) AI back into the team. It’s like having the best wacky, crazy agency that does as it’s told.

So you want control… but you want the creativity that comes from independents thinking outside your box.

So you want to be in charge of your marketing… but you want your creatives to be able to see beyond your four walls.

So you want to the benefits of in-house… but also the best that agencies had to offer.

Now you don’t have to make a choice. With In’nOut (™) you can have the best of both worlds.

Yes there have been creative AIs that you can build your in-house capability around for some time. They have picked up on your brand culture, values, messages, audiences and strategies and set to work turning out on-brand Canned campaigns. Control? Certainly but have they lacked that something. With In’nOut (™) AI capability you have control. You can dial up the In’nOut Swerve (™) dial to let your AI think outside the building, to create the wacky campaign, make the. crazy play. Or you can dial it down to bring your In’nOut (™) AI back. into the team. You have control.

It’s like having the. best wacky, crazy agency that does as it’s told.

Dispatch from an advertising future #7

Ads We Like: Clio Awards 60th anniversary promo features ad icons and pioneers in massive painting

We’re 70 this year. To celebrate, we’re unveiling a VR homage to those pioneers of advertising who made our industry the beacon of efficiency and effectiveness it is today. The influencers and memes; the bots that brought real emotion back into copy; the databases that brought insight back into our industry and of course the VCs and CEOs who defended the spaces, platforms and frameworks against naysayers, doomsters and regulators. You feel the eyes follow you. A. fitting tribute to a decade where the great, white, male auteurs of ad lore. were replaced by the great, digital authors of now.

The Clio Awards is turning 70 this year and to celebrate, the organisation has unveiled a sprawling VR portrait honouring advertising’s pioneers, trailblazers and most recognisable icons from the past decade.

The result is a sprawling cyberpunk-style experience generated by the AIs at Google and the iAB.

With a larger-than-life datacloud at the centre, the image is a homage to those pioneers of advertising and creative who have made our industry the shining beacon of efficiency and effectiveness it is today.

There’s those early ‘influencers’ as they were called and that second generation of virtual ambassadors who made recommendations ‘real. There’s those bots that brought real emotion back into copy and the algorithms that brought insight back into our industry. There are are VCs that funded us as we matured and the CEOs who maintained the spaces, platforms and frameworks despite the best efforts of naysayers, doomsters and regulators.

As you experience the image, like the paintings of old, you feel the eyes follow you around. A. fitting tribute to a decade where the industry made tracking the. real real and where the great, white, male auteurs of ad lore. were replaced by the great, digital algorithms of now.

Dispatch from an advertising future #6

Football’s tactical switch

We’re through to the last selection. I’ve dreamed he’d be signed since before he was born and he’s almost there. Once we saw he wasn’t great with the ball, we put the effort into building up his other sports skills. We made him practice. Hour after hour with his phone. We’re not ashamed to admit, we paid for expert coaching. And now… he can TikTok the way Cruyff could turn. He can Tweet like Beckham could bend it. He can Instagram like Ronaldo could chop. The lad’s a natural. No team would be complete without him. My boy, a pro.

We’re through to the last selection. I don’t know who is more excited, us or him. I admit I dreamed he’d be signed by United even before he was born and he’s almost there. One more round.

Of course he’s not the only one in the running. I’ve heard that there at least two sponsored kids who are frankly guaranteed a place. Well if you’ve been ‘branded since birth’ of course they’ll get a place. The manager hasn’t a choice. But the influencer player places are still open and we’ve put a lot of effort into that over the years. As soon as we knew he was just OK with the ball, we put the effort into building up his other sports skills. We made him practice. Hour after hour with his phone. We’re not ashamed to admit that we paid for expert coaching. Those Sunday mornings we spent out setting up shots for him. Rain or shine. We put the hours in and so did he, getting ready for this big chance.

And now… He can. TikTok the way Cruyff could turn. He can Tweet like Beckham. could bend it. He can Instagram like Ronaldo could chop. The. lad’s a natural. No team would be complete without him.

Dispatch from an advertising future #5

Inside Gucci’s Gen Z bet on avatars – the latest chapter in luxury’s digital epiphany

I mean no-one. wants to sue their parents, but really! Signing me up with brand in-vitro? Fine. They picked a good brand at the time. See me through school and University. A couple of years as IRL ambassador, OK. But there was the avatar clause. My social presence would in perpetuity be branded with… well I can’t even bring myself to say the name (or should that be ‘lame’?) I have my own brand to build and being saddled with an avatar dressed like that; talking like that; interacting like that! Well how do you think I feel… your honour?

I mean what were they thinking? How could they be SO stupid? Didn’t they think ahead? My lawyers will probably put it better in court but really!

OK getting sponsorship for me was smart. Kids aren’t cheap and signing me up with brand in-vitro was a good hedge. They picked a good brand at the time. Safe, solid, they’d see me through school and University. A couple of years as IRL ambassador, fine. Some real-world experiential in the Uni bar and then the workplace, all good. But of course there was the avatar clause. My social media presence would in perpetuity be branded with… well I can’t even bring myself to say the name (or should that be ‘lame’?) When I was in school, fine. The brand still had some kudos and even when that began to fade, well I was a kid. But I’m not now. I have my own brand to build and to be saddled with an avatar dressed like that; talking like that; interacting like that! Well how do you think I feel… yer honour!

My avatar is as much a part of me as my body. The contract my parents signed released my body from brand servitude after a certain number of years but left my avatar behind. Still the brand’s property. I did the work for them, as a kid, a student and an intern. They got their money’s worth. But. now I am free, but. my avatar isn’t. What am I supposed to do, not have an avatar out. there? How do I function without one, judge?

I mean no-one. wants to sue their parents, but really!

Dispatch from an advertising future #4

A map of the brain could help to guess what you’re reading

Ever since ‘The Analog Turn’ your customers have been hiding. Paperbacks, podcasts, you’ve not been able to see what they are reading or listening to. Now with SeeingWords(™), you will. Using a network of face cameras we interpret brain signals to decode the words they are reading or hearing. Then our FaceTheFuture(™) lets you buy against that content in real time. If he’s reading a. recipe, you’ll know. If she’s listening to a feminist podcast, you’ll. know. If he’s reading a love letter… you’ll know. And be sure you. ad will reach her just like it used to.

Ever since ‘The Analog Turn’ we know that your customers have been hiding. Sitting on that shopping mall bench with a paperback or on the Tube with their newspaper, listening to that podcast as they stroll or wait for a bus… we’ve not been able to help them with our adverts. No-one wants to go back to the scattergun advertising of the past. Brands want to put their messages in front of the right prospects and people want to see relevant ads. But with the Analog Turn, up to now we’ve not been able to see what they are reading. But now we’re proud to announce SeeingWords(™), a collaboration between Eastfield Shopping arcades, Transit for London and us here at FaceTheFuture(™).

As you know, we’ve been harnessing facial recognition to map your ads to your consumers’ emotions but now we can map them to what they are reading, in real time. A network of sensors in Eastfield malls and London Tube carriages monitor people as they read. Our proprietary AI interprets the brain signals to decode the words they are reading or the podcast they are listening to. This is is fed into the FaceTheFuture(™) ad auction for you to buy against that content in real time. As she looks up from her paper, your ad could be the first thing she sees.

If he’s reading a. recipe, you’ll know. If she’s listening to a feminist podcast, you’ll. know. If he’s reading a love letter… you’ll know. And be sure you. ad will reach her just like it used to.